We Have a Pope! (White Smoke on a Seven Inch Screen)

Wow! What a day! Exhausting!

My windows on the world are a notebook computer, a seven inch Kindle Fire, and a cheap not-very-smart phone. For most of the afternoon, my Kindle was tuned in to a live webcam view of the chimney.

I tried to do other things in the office of the John XXIII Montessori Children's Center. But I kept looking at the chimney, over and over... me and the rest of the world.

If I had to leave my desk, I took my Kindle with me. I'm glad I didn't crash into anybody as I walked through hallways, staring at a digital image of a chimney instead of watching where I was going.

Most of the time I sat at the desk, looking at the chimney every few seconds, and then going over to Facebook to chat with other people who were also watching the chimney. The image kept pixilating, and often the digital variation looked like smoke. No smoke. A bird (seagull? pigeon?) perched on top of the chimney. The bird became an international celebrity for about an hour.

Meanwhile, kids kept popping their heads in the office. "Is there smoke yet?" Not yet, I told them. I'll let you all know. After the first vote on Tuesday, we had a crowd of kids in the office watching the black smoke pouring out of the chimney on the seven inch screen of my Kindle. The black smoke what quite unmistakably black.

So it went on, and I began to wonder what would happen if this turned out to be a long conclave. Chimney-watching every day for how long?

The internet had opened the possibility of an intimate sense of participation in these events. It had been deeply moving, to enter the Sistine Chapel with the Cardinals, to pray for them one by one as they took the the oath, to see human hands from all over the world, human hands of so many shapes and sizes and textures and hues, pressing against the book of the Gospels. Human hands.

But it was also good that we were not digitally looking over their shoulders as they voted. We observed a kind of silence (when our minds weren't racing with speculations). But it was the silence that we needed. The Cardinals were cloistered, and in a certain sense the whole Church was cloistered. The Cardinals had to stand before God with their consciences, and pray for the light of the Holy Spirit. We had to accompany them with our waiting hearts, full of that mysterious expectation that ultimately wants a "Someone" whom we can see and hear and even touch.

The man who would emerge on the balcony of St. Peter's as Pope would not satisfy our desire. He would not be the One for whom our hearts are made. But he would be a sign--and in his ministry we could hope to be guided on the journey, and even to see a glimpse of the New Creation that has already been fulfilled in the resurrection of a Man, and that is breaking into our world and changing our history right now. We hoped that the living testimony of this man who would step out on the balcony, this "papa," might focus the eyes of our faith on the Face of the One who lives forever, the One who is the definitive triumph of Love, through whom the heavens and the earth are being renewed.

And so the human beings gathered, thousands in the square, stretching their necks, cheering, praying, expressing that radical human hope; that joyful restlessness full of the profound depths of hope, but also full of ambiguity, lack of focus, and vacillation. Around the world, human beings looked at their digital gadgets with the same deep but often distracted hope.

Catholic Christians prayed to Jesus, prayed for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and also wondered if the guy they liked was going to "win;" if he would be tough and clean up all the messes made by the Church's members; if he would he be media-savvy.

We wondered if we would "like" him; we wondered if he would be energetic and zealous; we wondered how he would "do" the new evangelization; we wondered if he was young or old, disorganized or competent, an "insider" or an "outsider," a scholar or [and?] a pastor with heart. We wondered about his views on X, Y and Z (insert favorite opinions).

You can bet that bishops, priests, sisters, lay men and women who work for the Church, and of course theologians wondered, "How will the new pope affect my career?" (Let's be honest, people!)

I wondered many things as I watched the chimney. But the depths of hope had been strengthened by the witness of Benedict. He was confident that Jesus is the head of the Church. He had had the courage to put in Jesus's hands the office of successor of St. Peter with faith and serenity, so he might embrace the final pilgrimage of incapacity that was now upon him.

Hope had been strengthened, yet still I wondered many things.

Then, suddenly, a puff of smoke. "Looks like gray. It will turn black.... No. Is it? Could it be?"

I opened the office door and shouted "WHITE SMOKE!!!"

Kids crowded around me in the office to see the white smoke. There was no doubt that it was, indeed, white. I switched my Kindle over to EWTN's live stream.

Then we waited more.

Eventually, the Chelsea Academy folks set up a laptop with a projector in the large assembly hall. The teachers and the students of Chelsea and John XXIII gathered together to watch... and wait.

My kids will always remember this. The gathering and the expectation....

The curtain rustled.

"HABEMUS PAPAM!"

Then, at that moment, the screen froze up! "Ack!" "Wait, its back. Here we go... what's with the sound? I can't hear...."

"Eminentissimum ac Reverendissimum Dominum, Dominum Georgium Garbledigarbleum Sanctae Romanae Digarbledigooble Garbleorum What? Whatswrongwiththesound? Icanthear Whodidhesay
whoisGeorgium? Broonkbriipbroop nomen imposuit Franciscum!"

"Okay, Franciscum. Francis? Pope Francis. Pope Francis!"

"Who is Georgium?" For a moment, the name of "Cardinal George" actually passed through my mind. "No, couldn't be...."

On the (now restored) web stream the crowds were cheering, although I'm not sure they knew who had just become Pope. The EWTN announcers, who had been talking non-stop, heroically, for the last five days were totally silent. Maybe they didn't know either.

"Papa Francesco, Papa Francesco!" The crowd cheered. "Yes," I thought to myself, "Pope Francis... I got that part... but who is he?"

Finally, finally, one of the EWTN announcers spoke, "Jorge Cardinal Bergoglio has been elected Pope Francis I. He is the Archbishop of Buenos Aires, Argentina."

And we all cheered. Even though most of us still didn't know who he was!

But when Pope Francis came out on the balcony, radiating simplicity, asking us to pray for him and bowing his own head, the crowd at St. Peter's became silent. So did our crowd and the crowds of all the Church and all the world.

A path opened up in this silence, and we began the next moment of our journey.

The Papal Conclave Begins: The Holy Spirit Guides the Church

The Sistine Chapel, from the outside. The
inside is quite a bit more distinctive.

In recent days I have found it difficult to write. So many experts, reporters, and analysts have had things to say, and I am grateful for their work, although reading all of it sometimes only made me uneasy and anxious. This is not to say that I haven't learned some important things, and discovered much about the good work that many are doing in the Church. I have also made my share of jokes (and will, no doubt, continue to make jokes, because true humor is an expression of reverence and affection).

But above all, the approaching moments are a time for recollection, and for drawing close in prayer to our brothers the Cardinals and the one among them who will follow in the footsteps of St. Peter

I am awake in the very early hours of the morning. This is not unusual for me. This morning, however, I hope to participate--in physical distance but electronic proximity--in the Mass soon to begin in Rome, the special Mass for the Election of a Supreme Pontiff offered by the Cardinals before they enter the silence of the Sistine Chapel. There they will choose, with the help of the Holy Spirit, the next bishop of Rome, successor of St. Peter, servant of the servants of God.

The "Conclave" is both mysterious and human. These are men, and they are choosing a man. Popes are not gods. This election does not transform someone into a semi-divine being, an all wise, all knowing being who possesses perfect judgment, to whom the rest of us submit like slaves. As Benedict XVI said, "the Pope is not an oracle."

Still the Pope is a man who is a bishop, who in assuming the office of St. Peter will stand out from among his brother bishops, the men who are the successors of the eyewitnesses of Jesus, those twelve who were empowered and commissioned by Jesus to gather the human race into a communion of persons who share His risen life. A communion of persons who become a "people," the People of God, gathered together in a visible, historical community.

This is mysterious. A two thousand year old historical community, whose members have through the ages done all the evil things that humans do, but who still endure and witness to the beginning of God's victory in the world, the beginning of a new creation. It is an historical community that points to Jesus of Nazareth, crucified and risen, and says, "We are together because of Him."

The Pope and the bishops who are in union with him have an office within this community: an authority which is a service and a profound responsibility. The Pope is not "god" or "emperor" or "dictator;" he is "papa," daddy, a man who is called to exercise the role of father in the great family of the Church.

It is not surprising that all of us are drawn to an intimacy and affection for the man who is Pope. The Church is a communion of love; it is the people brought together by the love of God in Jesus, and it reaches out to every human being. We look to the Pope, we have confidence in his guidance, and we follow him not because we think he is magic, or that his every word is divinely inspired.

We follow the Pope, listen to him, and learn from him because of our confidence that the Holy Spirit guides the Church. The Holy Spirit will not allow him to fail in his teaching on the fundamental realities--faith and morals--which sustain each of us in our vital relationship with Jesus, and with each other. Jesus Himself has given this promise to St. Peter, for the building up of His Church (see Matthew 16:6). Beyond this, we are also attentive to and recognize the unique value of the whole of the Pope's preaching and witness. We trust that the Holy Spirit will guide him and sustain him as an authority and a reference point for what is good for the Church, and good for the world.

And so we pray now, and we ask the Spirit of the Father and His Son Jesus to guide the Cardinals, we pray with joy and hope and confidence because we know that God loves us, God loves the Church, God loves the world and every person in it.

This is the secret of the fascination that people (even non-Christians) have with the election of a new Pope. We are awaiting a gift from God.

Act of Love

Holy Cross Cistercian Monastery, Berryville, Virginia

Act of Love

O my God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,

I love you above all things,

with my whole heart, my whole soul, my whole mind,

and my whole strength.

I love you Eternal Father.

In the name of Jesus, my Savior,

I love you.

Send forth your Spirit into my heart,

guiding me in the ways of love.

I love my neighbor as myself for the love of you,

my God,

and all things for your sake and for your glory.

I love you and desire to recognize you and love you more

—as your Mercy and Wisdom enable me—

in each and every human person

created in your image and likeness

I forgive those who have injured me,

I forgive them from the heart

and I pray that you will bless abundantly

and give your grace to all those who have harmed me,

who wished to harm me,

or who have hurt me by failing to understand me.

And I ask pardon for all those I have injured

in thought, word, deed, or omission.

Bless a hundred fold with healing and grace

anyone whom I have harmed in any way,

and have mercy on us all.

(March 12, 2011)

Are We Listening?

"Today if you hear the voice of the Lord, harden not your hearts" (see Psalm 95:8).

Every day, we harden our hearts to the gentle promptings of the Spirit of God. We make excuses. We reduce His inspiration to our own measure. We bargain with Him.

Or we drown out His voice with every kind of noise, with our own projects, with the plans that our hearts have already set for themselves.

We are so busy. We are anxious about many things.

"Harden not your hearts...."

"But Lord, I have to do it this way, don't you understand? I'm trying to glorify You, preach Your gospel, serve the poor, change society, fight against the evil forces in the world, and do lots of good."

"Harden not...."

"But God, I'm doing this for the New Evangelization! I want to make You known and loved. What more could You want?"

"...your heart."

"Slushies" From Heaven

The view from the Porch of the Janaro Estate

The snowstorm came to town, as expected. Schools didn't even dream of opening.

A snow day in March!?

Here we are, two weeks before the first day of Spring. Daylight Savings Time begins this weekend. And there's hoodles of snow pouring down from the sky.

We turned on the Weather Channel, and there was a reporter stationed in our town. One of those brave, intrepid Weather Channel people--the ones who stand on the beach to report on a hurricane or go out on a raft in the midst of a flood--came to Front Royal to show her courage. We didn't know whether we should be flattered, or whether we should be evacuating!

Of course, by that time, we couldn't go anywhere.

This Snowman is having fun while he
still can. Temperature's rising.

So we hunkered down and watched the snow and the wind. Well, I hunkered down. The kids, of course, went out to play. I only made a brief visit to check a few things out and take some pictures. It was a wet, wet snow. Good snowman snow. The kids built a lovely snowman.

The snow piled up to more than a foot, I'm guessing, when something strange began to happen. It continued to snow, but instead of getting higher, the stuff on the ground got thicker. It got goopier and goopier, but it was still snow. The temperature was above freezing and I think some of it was melting even as it fell. You could have scooped it up in a cup and you would have had...one of those frozen drinks that you get at fast food places, what are they called? I know that on Veggietales they call them "Slushies," and I can't think of a better word right now.

"And God rained down Slushies from heaven for His people" (says no chapter and verse anywhere in the Bible).

You-know-who

Me: "Josefina, what flavor of Slushie would you like?"

Her: "Strawberry."

Me: "I'll have to pour some artificial strawberry-flavored syrup on the snow!"

Her: <blank stare> [...of course, she doesn't get it...]

Oh well, another joke Fail.

If you think you're funny, try your jokes out on your kids. They are honest and ruthless, and they are already bored of your humor. If your kids laugh, its funny. If your teenagers laugh, take it to the bank.

All it needs is artificial color
and flavor, and... Slushies!

Meanwhile, snow is falling off the trees. Melting. The humongous, dangerous storm has turned out to be (at least in our area) another dud. Which is fine with me.  As the sun sets, the clouds begin to part. I think our snowman is going to have a short life.

No damage to report here, other than a bathroom full of wet coats, sweaters, hats, gloves, and scarves. And a kitchen sink full of hot cocoa mugs. Clearly, fun has been had.

The Weather Channel must be very disappointed. Oh well, at least they can have all the Slushies they want.

Lucia, bundled up in front of the Snowman.

Teresa looks a little cold and wet without a hat!

A lot of snow for a little Josefina

March 5: Happy Birthday Eileen Janaro

Happy Birthday Eileen Janaro!

I love you! I love you!

I thank God for you.

Isn't she great??!!

I love this lady, and I always will!

I'm Trying to Give Something Up That I Actually LIKE!

I LOVE this stuff in my coffee!!

Sure, I gave up the usual list of things for Lent. And then there are things that I "gave up" in a "kinda sorta" way, which means I let myself cheat...sometimes (most of the time).

Also, as a zealous observer of the celebratory nature of "Sunday," I break from all these withering penances on Sundays.

And, of course, "Sunday" begins on Saturday evening. Right after First Vespers (which I mean to pray, but I usually miss; its hard to "get a handle" on Vespers, whereas Lauds fits right in with prayers in the morning).

Sometimes this results in a paradoxical (and stupid) thing that I call "Fat Sunday," in which I find myself eating, drinking, and watching stuff that I never care about any other time of the year!

Ice cream? I never eat ice cream... except during Sundays in Lent! Etcetera.

Lent really makes clear what a schlep I am.

Every Lent, I determine to make an effort to be extra patient and kind with the children. That means something more than being "nice" to the children. I can do "nice" without much trouble. Real love, however, is always a challenge. Its a challenge even to remember that the person in front of you needs love.

Its easier to give stuff up. So, during Lent, I muster the courage to embrace a few FirstWorld inconveniences. For example, I don't sweeten my coffee (note for *future canonization cause file*). I really like my coffee sweet. As I said in another post, I use real Stevia, which I have grown to love over the years. So its a sacrifice. Its wimpy. Its firstworldy. But its something.

Still, I can handle it. Its not that hard.

But I never "give up" my half&half in the coffee. Ooooh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Really, half&half is the closest thing on the supermarket shelf to actual MILK! Even after being nuked by ultra-pasteurization, something real remains, and it tastes good.

It has real fat in it!

These days, I roam the supermarket looking for food that hasn't been kerschnoodled into some "healthy" imitation of what it used to be. Often, when some food item boldly advertises itself as LOW FAT, that means that they have removed the real fat, and replaced it with "fake fat"! And since your body doesn't feel satisfied with fake fat, they distract it by adding a few five-syllable ingredients that ultimately can all be translated by the word SUGAR.

Anyway, the bottom line is: I really love my half&half in my coffee!

But I have been thinking about the papal conclave with all of its tremendous implications, and I am wondering if I should subject myself to some further mortification (n.b. for *canonization cause file*).

We're not talking black coffee here. That would be martyrdom (for me, anyway). Its not time for martyrdom, yet. But, how about using milk instead of half&half in my coffee? Hee hee. Now that would be hard.

So I tried it.

Yuk! The coffee tastes horrible! I don't know how people drink it this way.

Bad. Mood. All. Day.

I'm embarrassed to even formulate this question, but I'm asking myself, "is this good for me?" Do I need to consult with my spiritual director? Or (since he's very busy) should I consult with that radical bedrock of common sense that God has placed in my life, i.e. my wife?

Really, this is not a hairshirt. This is not flagellation. This is not even switching to Maxwell House. This is nothing!

I'm laughing at myself. Well, that at least is a good thing!

Cardinal Tagle on Social Media, Human Connection, and Silence

The purpose of this post is not to engage in conclave speculation. It is just a coincidence that the texts below are from a talk by someone who might be the next pope. I have been interested in the Cardinal Archbishop of Manila, Luis Antonio Tagle, for some time.

I've watched him quite a bit on YouTube. The Philippines is a pivotal place for the future of the world and the Church. Filipinos are a great people who are presently under assault by the demographic imperialism of the secularized West. (That point deserves a post of its own sometime soon.)

If Cardinal Tagle is elected pope, it won't be because he's "Asian" or because he's "young" or because he has extraordinary personal charisma (all of this is true).

The exciting thing about Tagle is simply this: He's the real deal! He loves Jesus and the Church. Yes, he has "superstar" appeal and he knows instinctively how to use it, but he doesn't care about it. He cares about adoring Jesus in the Eucharist and finding Him in the poor. And he knows how to work with the 21st century media. If he does become pope, he will knock the secular Western opinion-makers completely off balance, but that's not what this post is about.

Regardless of whether he stays in Manila or moves to Rome, Cardinal Tagle is worth listening to. But all I want to do in this post is point to a few of his remarks on social networking, something that is huge in the Philippines. Catholic Filipinos have some experience with trying to use social media as tools for evangelization. Filipinos are online, big time.

These are some excerpts from a conference the Cardinal recently gave on the "spirituality of social media." These words were preached, with enthusiasm and ardor and warmth, moving freely back and forth between English and Tagalog. Of course I only understood the English parts, but insofar as I did understand, I was struck by what he said, and I transcribed some of it. He spoke about the possibilities of the media, the importance of one's own immediate human environment, and (in a point that I found particularly impressive) the fundamental role of silence at the root of any authentic communication.

Here are a few of his words:

You proclaim what you believe in. You proclaim the joy of being a follower of Christ. You proclaim and you hope to be 'viral'! To 'contaminate' others with the joy that comes to someone who has discovered Jesus. 'Contaminate' others, be a 'contagious disease.' Contaminate them with the joy of being a promoter of the Kingdom of truth, justice, and peace. Go 'viral'! This is the fundamental cause of Christians: the Kingdom of God, the Gospel....

But let us not forget that even in the absence of the gadgets, even in the absence of the cell phone, the computers, we can still connect. Let us not forget the basic human relationships that are always available: a smile, a recognition of the other person, a manifestation of compassion; these are all 'communicative,' and they are palpable. People can feel your touch. People can see your tears. People can hear your voice cracking out of compassion. People can hear your 'contagious' laughter, and in all of this, you are connecting. 

The Holy Father says, 'the best communication happens in silence.'... the silence of attentiveness... the silence of prayer. In prayer, we listen, we learn the art of listening. So before I utter my word, I know I have listened to God.... Silence prepares us to utter a meaningful word. Silence is the fertile ground for the communication of God's word. Only those who can be at home with silence can utter a meaningful word... I have to go back to silence... [put] the iPhone in silent mode. Only people who are capable of deep deep silence and communion can learn how to commune with others.

Only God Can Begin

He has called himself a simple pilgrim, taking up the final stage of his journey. It seems like he has disappeared, and yet in these days Benedict the Pilgrim remains vitally important for the Church. We should seek to unite ourselves with him in prayer and sacrifice for the good of the Church and all of humanity.

We are a people who seek something new in the midst of this Year of Faith. We seek a new depth of conversion, of encounter with Jesus, of friendship with Him. We are beginning to realize that the "New Evangelization" is His initiative; it is His work in history, which we are called to discover, adhere to, and follow.

And we now know that it involves surprises; it is a journey that is taking us places beyond our dreams and plans. Let us follow with confidence, and continue to be formed by the wisdom the Lord has communicated to us through this great Pope, whose words have become more radiant and penetrating in the light of his witness of fidelity and self-surrender to the love of God.

"Only God can begin, we can only cooperate, but the beginning must come from God.... Only the fact that God precedes us makes possible our own walking, our cooperation, which is always just a cooperation, not our own simple decision. Therefore, it is always important to know that the first word, the initiative itself, the true activity comes from God and only by inserting ourselves in this divine initiative, only begging this divine initiative, we too can become - with Him and in Him - evangelizers" (Benedict XVI).

Pope Benedict: Thank You for Leading the Way

Cardinal Ratzinger meets a young theology student during his visit to the
Dominican House of Studies in Washington, D.C., in January of 1990. 

Pope Benedict XVI. Josef Ratzinger. How can I even begin to fathom what this man has given to me? He has been a guiding and teaching presence in the Church for the whole of my adult life.

Remember, Cardinal Ratzinger came to Rome to head the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in 1981. I was 18 years old, and a freshman in college. By the time I figured out that I wanted to study theology, he was already well established as a figure of authority.

For a great part of my adult life, the overall reference point for the mind of the Church was "the Pope...and Cardinal Ratzinger." They worked with an exquisite harmony, and with a remarkable complementarity of temperament and method, in what must have been one of the truly great friendships of Christian and human history.

It was very hard for a person like me to study academic theology in the 1980s. There were ideas everywhere, and a lot of these ideas sought to reinterpret Christianity and reduce it to the limits of various human ideologies. But there were also great insights, real theological development that was (and still is) being patiently and carefully discerned and incorporated into the teaching of the Church. The profound intelligence, learning, and above all the ecclesial sense of Cardinal Ratzinger helped to steer the Church through these deep and often strange waters.

For me and many others who became Catholic theologians during this period, he was a touchstone and an outstanding example. He showed us that the theologian must be above all a homo ecclesiasticus, a "man or woman of the Church." He showed us that true "openness" was the openness of a faith lived out in the communion of the Church, and that the teaching of the Church was not an oppressive domination, but rather a loving service to the sustenance of this communion. He showed us this by his clarity, his humility, his patience, and by the fact that he was sacrificing himself every day to carry out the Church's teaching mission, to bear the often misunderstood authority and responsibility entrusted to him out of love for Jesus and love for the Church.

Just by watching him, we learned that the Church was a living reality, and that "fidelity to Catholic teaching" was not a matter of politics, but a matter of being faithful to a real relationship with Jesus, and adhering to His continual presence within the ecclesial communion. For anyone who was looking and listening, it was clear that his commitment was not just to some thing or some task, but to Someone.

Remember, I'm talking about Cardinal Ratzinger. Nobody ever dreamed he would be Pope someday.

The picture above recalls an event that I shall always treasure. The American branch of the John Paul II Institute for Marriage and Family first opened in the beautiful Dominican House of Studies in Washington, D.C. I was already a lay student with the Pontifical Faculty at DHS, which was still an unusual thing in the 1980s (now they have a whole program for lay people, of course). The JPII Institute brought in a lot of lay students, and enriched the atmosphere of this unique place.

In January of 1990, Cardinal Ratzinger was in Washington and he came to give a talk to the new JPII Institute. The audience was restricted to people associated with the Institute, and of course the Dominican faculty and its students. The great old chapel was nevertheless bursting with people, and Ratzinger delivered a profound, erudite, and magnificently balanced assessment of the problems and the possibilities of Liberation Theology.

Then he invited the students to an informal discussion, and we moved to a large but still intimate classroom, Aquin Hall. There we had a chance to meet him and shake his hand, and--of course--get photographed. Indeed, that clean shaven fellow with hair on his head is me, 23 years ago. Cardinal Ratzinger was shy and courteous. A handshake and a greeting. No small talk. He was a shy and simple man.

Then the students were seated and the questions began, and something happened! The "professor in him" came alive. The session was spontaneous and vibrant, and he was fully caught up in it. The classroom. It was clear that this was what he loved to do. Faith seeking understanding; faith and reason integrated in the heart of a man. He loved being with the students. "Archbishop" and "Cardinal Prefect" were not his idea. The Bavarian priest and professor had embraced it all with loving sacrifice.

It was a great joy to spend this time with him, these moments in which we caught a glimpse of his dynamic and serene heart. It looked like they had to drag him away, finally. I think he would have been happy to stay up until 2:00 AM with us. But he had stayed long enough to show us that in following Jesus, self-sacrifice is transformed into an abundant gift. None of us could have imagined how great that gift would become, fifteen years later....

Pope Benedict XVI, thank you for a lifetime of following Christ in His Church. Jesus has blessed you. He gave you a great classroom, the whole world, and you have been a wonderful teacher. And now he is calling you to offer everything, yet again, and to begin an unprecedented journey into the contemplative heart of the Church. In passing on the office of St. Peter, you are bearing witness to the world that "the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven" are not given for personal self-exaltation, or domination of some over others, or oppression, or any power that we can measure and define in the terms of this world. Instead you are showing us that the communion of God's people is sustained by trust in Jesus, by faith and love and confidence in His promise that He will always be with us.

Benedict XVI and Us: "A Living Body"

"One can touch what the Church is

– not an organization,

not an association for religious or humanitarian purposes,

but a living body,

a community of brothers and sisters

in the Body of Jesus Christ, who unites us all.

To experience the Church in this way

and almost be able to touch with one’s hands

the power of His truth and His love,

is a source of joy....

"God guides His Church,

maintains her always,

and especially in difficult times.

Let us never lose this vision of faith,

which is the only true vision

of the way of the Church and the world.

In our heart, in the heart of each of you,

let there be always

the joyous certainty that the Lord is near,

that He does not abandon us,

that He is near to us

and that He surrounds us with His love."

Pope Benedict XVI,

from the General Audience of February 27, 2013

A Hope That Endures

Sometimes people read my book and say, "I really admire that guy." You know, the little jumping fish that doesn't give up, and all that. I've tried as hard as I can to disillusion people, but if it hasn't worked, all I can say is that you'll have to wait for Eileen Janaro to publish her version of the story (we joke about this--she could call it I Give Up! My Husband: Lord, Have Mercy!).

Seriously, I would rather point to God's mercy and remain in the background (even as I struggle with the immature part of me that always wants attention). Perhaps the book's subtitle should have been: God's Mercy and The Reality of Human Life. The circumstances of my story reflect my experience of being a human being. If I have anything worth sharing, it is not because of me. It is because of the greatness of the love of God.

The fact is that everybody suffers in an intensely personal way. I really hope that people will read the book and discover their own relationship with Jesus. I tell the story of some of my struggles with physical and mental illness, with the apparent collapse of my career and my work, with a premature baby seven months in the hospital, etc. Obviously, this has been some tough stuff in my life. But when I talk to other people, inevitably I find that they have things in their lives that are overwhelming to them.

People have all kinds of suffering and all kinds of problems, and their pain is very real. People have problems with illnesses, relationships, spouses, kids, parents, jobs, money, loneliness, disappointment, God (yes indeed), sin, addiction, loneliness, dryness, boredom, loneliness, loneliness, anger, frustration, loneliness, the sense of failure (they're "stuck;" they're "not appreciated;" their lives don't mean anything; they're getting old and they've "missed" life; or they're young and anxious and confused). Did I mention loneliness? There is this strange and profound loneliness, because life doesn't seem to fulfill its promise, because spouse, family, and friends fall short of the human person's need for love.

Every person suffers, and in our culture we flee from suffering and pursue false promises of comfort and happiness (which lead to more suffering). Eventually, however, we will be humbled and required to confront our own brokenness. At this point, we can give up. Or we can allow that mysterious cry from the roots of ourselves to surge up: the cry for help, the cry of expectation, the cry of a hope that endures in us in the midst of every kind of darkness and desperation. We know that life is a promise, and thus we continue to ask, and we let ourselves become little again, and willing to be led by the hand.

As for me? I am just like everybody else. I run away from suffering as fast as I can, and seek distraction and anesthesia just as much as anyone else. But I was "blessed" in a way. Suffering caught up with me and cracked me over the head, and so I was forced to deal--a little bit--with real life. I have attempted to express in my book the need for the mercy of God that we all have, and that we are provoked to recognize by our suffering.

...n.b. My friend Lauren, who blogs at The Loveliest Hour, is giving away a free, autographed copy of my book in her book contest. Click the link and enter. That book will be worth money when I'm famous. ;) 

Measure

Today's Gospel:

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you" (Luke 6:36-38).

What is my measure?

To Tree or Not To Tree?

I'm taking a break from trying to understand the universe, because there has been a major change on the property of The Janaro Estate. An important landscaping event has occurred. Here it is in "dramatic-contrast" picture form.

See this tree?

 Ka-Baaam!!! What happened to the tree?

How did one of our trees become a pile of wood? This tree has been a fixture on our Front Lawn since the beginning, since...the children's childhood! It has been the background for family pictures. It has waved in the breeze and given shade for years. It has stood guard over our driveway, and provided shelter for the birds to make their homes and poop on our cars!

Our tree! Our beloved tree! I think that I shall never see / a poem as lovely as...um...ummm...this great big plant. O shucks, that doesn't rhyme. Anyway....

The tree has been 90% dead for several years. We didn't want those majestic branches (which were rotting) to fall suddenly on top of a car or a child (or a grownup).

So, did I march my fifty year old self out there, brawny and with ax in hand, and chop that old tree down and split the wood into those pieces you see right there? That's what Pa Ingalls would have done, right? So did I? Did I?

Nope.

You gotta be kidding. What really happened is that the wonderful town of Front Royal did us a favor. Because they are so nice and they really care. And also because they didn't want those tree branches to fall on the power lines and cables that run in front of our house. The friendly tree trimming people came by and offered to cut the whole thing down. For free. And let us keep the wood (which we're giving away to our wood burning friends--more than half of it is gone already). For free.

Why would we say no?

So down it went, one day last week while we were all at school. We returned home to this pile, along with a couple of very confused cats.

They took the rotten wood away and left us with the good wood. There was plenty of good wood. Who knows, maybe a tree doctor or a tree-whisperer could have saved the grand old man. Ah well....

The kids are planning a garden in the spring in this new spacious area. Thus, the earth will bring forth life in new ways. Children and cats will frolic in the grass.

And the birds will have to find somewhere else to poop.

I Am Not Very "Good at Suffering"

Click here to learn more!

I am not scandalized by the fact that I am not very “good at suffering.” Perhaps I am improving. Suffering produces humility. It simplifies life. It teaches us patience. It teaches us what is really important. It is a grace that allows us to help others, to share their burdens, to be merciful to our fragile brothers and sisters. It heightens our sensitivity to the terrible evil that is in the world, and to the coldness of human hearts that reject the love of God. In it we begin to share in the sorrow Jesus expressed over the world, and the burning love with which He desires to save it.

God gives us the grace to want to satisfy that burning love of Jesus, to grow to the measure of that love. We also begin to glimpse those terrible dark places: human hearts without God, burdened with the horrible reality that we call “mortal sin” and not even knowing it; human hearts that are willingly seeking the darkness, or who are oppressed by violence and can only bring forth violence in return. It is here especially where Jesus’s pain reaches its greatest anguish.  He loves each of these hearts, and He draws us into this love too.

All of this awareness comes with time, and in the measure in which God chooses to give it. I remain at the beginning of this mysterious road. I can say these things, and yet, when it comes to my own trials I seem to lose sight of the connections and start to flounder. My sufferings seem to be nothing else but humiliation; I feel like I am being crushed, or suffocated. And what is it after all—petty things! The voice of discouragement begins to creep in. There is always the danger of discouragement. But God’s mercy is stronger, and I cry out to Him.

I have begun to trust Him because I have seen that He does not leave me alone. It is like that moment in Peter’s life when, after beginning to walk on the water, he panics and starts to sink. Jesus reaches out and grabs him. When I am drowning, this is the one thing and the essential thing: let Him grab me.

--from Never Give Up: My Life and God's Mercy

Who Will Fill the Vacant Chair?

This is not St. Peter's chair. This is my chair. It is never infallible,
ever. He who sits in it is assured of only two things: (1) frequently
falling asleep; (2) being climbed on by a child, without warning!

Happy Feast of the Chair of St. Peter...the chair that will soon be vacant! Its interesting that we commemorate today the unique episcopal office exercised by the Bishop of Rome, even as we prepare to witness an historically unprecedented change in that office. Benedict is leaving in less than a week! I'm sure that the final words and gestures of his papacy will enable our hearts to grow, even as we endure them in sorrow.

Meanwhile it is only human to wonder, "Who will succeed him?"

Yes, the conclave drama has captivated me. I'm reading about cardinals (and there are a lot of really, really good ones). My conclusion? I have no idea who next pope will be. Not a clue. 

And I'm okay with that. God is good. He will take care of His Church.

The wonderful Cardinal Arinze from Nigeria, who worked many years in the Roman curia, has helped me keep perspective. He gave a recent video interview, in which he said, with his expressive face and lovely Nigerian English enunciation: "Don't Worry! The Holy Spirit does not go on holidays!" [You can find it on YouTube...I should try to update this later with a link! :)]

The Janaros with Cardinal Arinze, 2004.
Really, this picture is fun because of the
size of the kids. Look at John Paul, haha!

He'd be a great pope. But he's 80 years old. He won't even be in the conclave. Ah, too bad.

Cardinal Arinze participated in a conference at our college in 2004. As theology department chairman, I shared in the task of welcoming him, and we were seated together at the conference. I gave him a copy of a draft of an article about John Paul II that I was working on (eventually published in 2006).

There were a couple of hours of break in the afternoon. I assumed he'd go take a nap. Instead, he read my paper. At the dinner banquet, he came to the table and his face was all bright and beaming. "I read your paper," he said to me. "Its wonderful! You are an 'expert' on the Pope." Well, that was encouraging, even though it was not deserved. I am a student of John Paul II, but not an expert.

I haven't spoken with him since then, although he has come back to Front Royal many times. He has participated in various college and graduate school events. He's even played tennis on the tennis courts. Cardinal Arinze pops up all the time, it seems. I haven't run into him at K-Mart yet, but if I ever do, I won't be surprised!

He was just here less than a month ago, participating in a conference of Catholic college presidents (he strongly supports the "alternative" Catholic colleges and schools, because they are faithful to the teachings of the Church; I'm sure it also helps that, as an African bishop, he has an appreciation of what it takes to build institutions from scratch).

While he was in town, he said Mass and met with the students of Chelsea academy. The little boy in the picture on the right, who is now as tall as the Cardinal, asked the first question. My son! :)

Cardinal Arinze is wise and learned, but very down to earth, with joy, a great sense of humor (really, he's hilarious), and tons of common sense. He loves Jesus, and he loves the Church, with intelligence and simplicity.

The younger cardinals from the developing world have a similar sensibility. They radiate the faith and love, the strength and the struggles of their churches. That doesn't mean that its "time" for an African pope or an Asian pope, etc., etc. Who knows?

God knows. Maybe it will be the most obscure and unaccomplished cardinal in the conclave. Whoever he is, the next pope will be the successor of St. Peter and occupy his chair. He will be responsible for keeping everyone focused on the reality of Christian faith and life. The successor of St. Peter will be concerned with fostering and preserving the opportunity for everyone to share in Peter's confession of faith, which is at its core the recognition of and relationship with a Person.

Conclaves, popes, cardinals, bishops are instruments and servants of the grace that comes from the Father, the grace that enables you and me to meet Jesus today, and to recognize who He is, to cry out with faith and love, "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God!"

Benedict: Following the Hunger for God

Below these reflections, I have reproduced a post from one year ago on "secularization". The problems it addresses are still very much with us.

Pope Benedict knows this very well. He is not quitting in the face of this crisis. Rather, he is resigning his office in order to follow the call to seek God in prayer, to offer the sufferings of his present physical condition in humility and silence before God.

It seems appropriate to revisit a point central to the eight years of Benedict's pontificate, because the secularized world cannot really understand why he has made his decision. A world without God does not understand the value of prayer, and therefore has no understanding of what Benedict means when he says he desires to "continue to serve the Church" by offering himself to God in prayer. Benedict lives a relationship with Christ in the Church, and he is now turning to prayer not simply for "practical" reasons. These constitute some of the circumstances he faces, of course, but at its core his decision is motivated by the conviction that this is the path of his vocation, the next step in a lifetime of hungering for God and seeking to know Him more intimately in an ever deeper personal encounter with Jesus Christ. He knows too that this hidden life is not an escape, but a profound way of entering into a deeper communion with his brothers and sisters, a way of offering himself to Christ in the communion of the Church in the context of his present sufferings, after a long life of dedicated pastoral service.

I am confident that his prayers will sustain his successor so that he can give a strong and attentive witness to the truth about God and His love for us in Jesus Christ--the truth that is everywhere attacked, ignored, or falsified with cheap substitutes.

My "introduction" has turned into a post of its own. Nevertheless, let me present the thoughts of last year, given in the context of the words of the Pope. Here is the post of February 17, 2012, which was called Secularization, Transcendence, and Love:


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Sometimes we throw around terms like "secularism" and "the secularized West." It is important to be precise about what this means. Terms like these are not intended to cast "the secular world" in a negative light. Rather they are intended to express an ideological and practical attitude that limits the human person to the life of this finite world. Pope Benedict XVI explains it very concisely:

"Secularization, which presents itself in cultures by imposing a world and humanity without reference to Transcendence, is invading every aspect of daily life and developing a mentality in which God is effectively absent, wholly or partially, from human life and awareness."

Secularism imprisons the human person within the confines of "the world." Sometimes it restricts itself to the world as human beings immediately perceive it (e.g. materialism). But it can allow for the affirmation of "deeper realities," and for the development of human beings and the universe under the influence of "mysterious" natural powers (e.g. the many kinds of spiritualisms that flourish today, as well as a reductionist view of religion).

Secularism is a proposal of life "without reference to Transcendence." The essence of secularism is its effort to smother the deepest reality in the life of every human person, that thirst for the Infinite that shapes every human heart. The "transcendence" that Pope Benedict speaks of here is not just any kind of "going beyond" the surface of things. It is the Beyond-all-things, that Mystery which energizes the human person and is the ultimate goal of every human aspiration. Secularism seeks to suffocate this "restlessness" of the human heart.

It does not forbid a person to be "religious" (provided that "religion" is reduced to a human system, or a set of rules that rest on human contrivance, whether ancient or new). It does not have a problem with "spirituality" as long as the "spirit" remains in the finite prison of its own idealism, or of the occult. Secularism is even compatible with talk about God. But it wants to eliminate the search for God, the hunger for God, and of course, love for God.

Above all, however, secularism cannot abide the amazing fact that the Transcendent God --the Mystery that every human heart yearns for--has entered history and dwells among us in the very midst of our world. In the end, this is why secularism is doomed to fail: because God wills to make Himself known, because He loves us. He loves every human person, even the most determined secularists who appear to have forgotten all about Him.

The witness to Jesus Christ as God's loving gift of Himself is difficult in our secularized culture. But let us never forget that His grace is at work.

Josefinology

We're hanging around the table after breakfast, just her and me.

Josefina: "Jesus is powerful!"

Me: "Yes indeed."

Her: "He's like...a wizard!"

Thanks a lot, Gandalf. My little girl thinks Jesus is a wizard. At first that sounds creepy, but of course it has nothing to do with the occult. As far as the imagination is concerned, Middle Earth and Narnia pretty much rule around this house.

She's talking about a "Tolkien wizard" which is a very particular kind of entity.

All our other kids have read the books, and thanks to Peter Jackson, Gandalf is everywhere, on screen, but also on calendars and coloring books and coffee mugs and cereal boxes.

Tolkien's "wizards" play an open role in his imaginative world and its cosmic laws. Their "powers" are part of their "office" within the overall (and mysteriously providential) government of middle earth and its unfolding "history;" they belong to the ordinary structure of Tolkien's imaginary universe. And there's much more that I could say about this, but lets go back to the conversation.

So is Jesus "like" Gandalf? That's a pretty smart question, actually. Imagination and intelligence are working together.

Me: "No, its not the same, honey. The wizards in the story have some powers, but Jesus is God. Jesus can do anything, because He is God. The wizards can't create things, but Jesus is the Creator of everything."

Her: "So Jesus can't die!"

Me: [Hmmmmm....] "Well, God can't die. But God became a man, and He died for us. He died for each one of us, because He loves us; He died and He rose from the dead, so that we could live with Him forever in heaven. Remember there is only one God, but He is three Persons, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, like when you make the sign of the cross, three Persons, one God. Jesus is God the Son, and He took our human nature to be with us. Jesus is God and man."

Yes, I really said something like that. Children are not dumb. We have to tell them who Jesus is, because they're already trying to work it out. Experience, imagination, and understanding need to be integrated in everyone's life. It starts in childhood, and the Montessori Catechesis of the Good Shepherd follows an integrated method from the beginning. We started Josefina in CGS when she was not yet 3 years old.

Not long after that, she started asking questions. Once she asked me, "How does Jesus come into you and take your soul outside of your body when you die?" Gosh. I don't remember what I said then. She was 4 years old, maybe.

Sometimes when we finish grace, Josefina keeps her head down and her hands folded. She wants to say some special prayers (and she won't tell anybody what they are). The Lord must love these prayers. Another thing about the Montessori Catechesis: the children learn to pray. They learn the beauty of silence.

But let me return to this conversation. I concluded by saying...

Me: "These are mysteries we believe. We can't understand them."

Her: "Jesus is more powerful than a lion!"

Me: *puzzled* "aaah...yes!"

And we moved on to other things. It was a few minutes before I realized <facepalm> that she was talking about Aslan!